The one?

Is there really such a thing as the one? I don't know, but the question keeps plaguing me.

I met a guy a few weeks ago, he lives 1,500 miles away and so very close to my family. We talk everyday, not just the short "hey how you doing today?" but the crazy "I can't stop thinking about you!" sort of way. And it makes me question so many things.

I've come to the realization that my heart isn't nearly as stone as I thought it was. Back when the whole thing happened with my ex-husband, the craziness the need to speak to him to be with him was intense to say the least. And I sit here and I have to question to if this is the same sort of thing. The main differences are really just the time in which it's happened, and how crazily connected we are to each other. My ex and I had very little in common in our day-to-day lives. There were certainly things we agreed on, but equally as much we didn't agree on. And it took me almost a year (spread out over 2 years) for me to get to the point where I was willing to move 1,500 miles from home and my family to be with him. And even that was after we'd met in person, and all the baggage had come out.

And with Corey, I've shared every bit of baggage I've got with him, considering selling my house and leaving all my friends, just to be with him and it's been less than a month! And my voice of reason is SCREAMING in my ear.

So, is it the same as before? Similar, but no it's not the same. I am being impulsive, reckless, and so incredibly stupid. And I don't care, because I'm a bullet on it's way to the target. I'm flying through the air and if I miss the target and smash into the wall, well it was a helluva rush! But if I hit that target, square in his heart...(I know, so violent!)

I love him. I sit here with a shit-faced grin and I want to stab myself in the eye to stop it. But I can't. If we're fated to go out in a blaze of glory and it's short-lived, then it'll be a GREAT show. But, it's seeming more and more that he's got the key I was looking for. He's already unlocked everything inside, the good and the bad. And he's still here, he didn't run away and he loves me, not in spite of those things, but because of them.

So, Corey, I love you and I sit here on the edge with you, waiting to take the plunge into the unknown.